This Might Make You Cringe
I spent the last month advertising my 5 Day Reset Workshop Series.
We started today.
Who is "we"? Me, and one brave entrepreneur.
That's right - only 1 person signed up for my course. It ok if that makes you cringe
But you know what? It was awesome today. We got to go WAY deeper into the activities than we could have if there had been 15 in the group. And I can say with certainty, we moved the needle in her business when it comes to her values and her ICA (ideal client avatar.)
As we wrapped up, she said she had true clarity. From just one session out of the five. She's already reset important parts of her business. I'm so glad I went ahead with it.
8.19.26
I Brought a Book, Not My Laptop
When I was traditionally employed, we used to joke that the only way to go no-contact on vacation was to travel abroad or go on your honeymoon. This was pre-smart phone, and it only got worse as the technology got better.
When I started my own company, I scoffed at the idea of working on vacation. Most of y'all know how that ended up - and if you don't, just know I ran up some HUGE internet bills on a cruise ship.
So it turned out - it wasn't just my employers that were “making” me work when I was out of the office. And it wasn't my clients. It was my lack of boundaries.
If you've heard me speak live, you've heard about the literal YEARS I've spent breaking the habit of checking email when I get up in middle of the night. I've gotten better at boundaries, and outline them clearly (now), with my clients. But vacations, and days off and “out of office” still see some work creep. Mostly because I'm human and the 2026 24/7 of it all.
And all of the changes that occurred this year (+ it being the first summer in a LONG time I've only had one business) led me to block the calendar for EVERYTHING this summer.
Swim meet? The day got blocked.
Kid's camp drop off? Day blocked.
Day after vacation? Blocked.
Y'all. I even pre-blocked the three days AFTER I move Kid #1 into college (please clap and also send thoughts and prayers).
All that to say - I took this past Friday to attend a swim meet. I brought a book, not a computer. I didn't even check my email on my phone. When we got home earlier than anticipated, I took a nap. Then finished my book.
And yes, all of this is awesome, and I'm proud of myself, but I'm not telling you this to brag.
I'm telling you this to say - it's taken me since 2016 to get to this point. I started working on it in earnest probably four years ago and this is the first true summer I can honestly say that I've let work stay where and when it could, instead of bringing it along everywhere just because.
I'm not telling you this because I've figured it out. I'm telling you because I'm still figuring it out — and that part, I think, is the whole point of this entrepreneurship journey.
Cheering you on - EB
7.1.26
Guess Who I'm Not Giving My Money To?
The cherry on top of this just-finished Maycember - my recent graduate turns 18 tomorrow. (Rude).
He has some pretty amazing goals for college and beyond, and we found him a vintage gift that speaks exactly to where he's headed. Because it's old, I took it to a local specialty shop to have it checked out. Here's how that went:
Me - “I bought this for my son, and want to get it checked out.”
Shop owner disappears into the back. Returns.
Shop Owner - “Well, this has never been serviced, and you're not going to want to pay what it's going to cost.”
I had to ask several follow-up questions just to get a ballpark number out of him. And all I could think walking out the door was - I won't be giving that man my money.
Here's what he communicated, whether he meant to or not:
a) You can't afford to pay for this. and/or
b) It's not important enough to you to pay for.
He has no idea what this gift meant, or why we chose it. And that was the whole problem - he made assumptions about what I was and wasn't willing to spend, before I ever had the chance to tell him.
Today's lesson - don't make assumptions about what's important to people you're selling to. Ask the questions. Let them tell you what matters. You might be surprised what people will invest in when they feel understood - and you'll definitely keep more of them walking back in your door.
Cheering you on - EB
6.1.26
Graduation Announcement
It's graduation season in my house - on Friday, my oldest will walk across the stage, move his tassel from one side to the other, and then…off to college.
This semester has been full of lasts and celebrations and tears and there's more to come over the next few days. But, as a first-time “mom of a graduate,” here are two truths the Universe has reminded me of over and over again this (very, very busy) week.
Success looks different for everyone.
It is REALLY easy to get caught up in all of the award ceremonies, Senior nights and general celebrations - understandably so. But in midst of all of it, another “mom of a graduate” friend texted me:
“I can't thank you enough for raising an empathetic kid.”
It was the reminder I needed that educational honors are amazing, AND that his success is as much, if not more, about the person he is becoming.
Business strategy HAS to match the reality of your life.
Graduation has had approximately 7,564 events my business calendar did NOT account for - because how could I know what I don't know?
What I DO KNOW is, as a working mom, there are always going to be times I’m needed I can’t prepare for - and my business has to be flexible to accommodate those needs.
So when I say “strategy that matches the reality of your life,” I mean it. But what does that really look like?
For me, it’s understanding that I can’t give 40 hours a week to my business. At most, I can dedicate 15-20. AND, I have family and business financial goals that need to be met. AND, I’m never quite sure what the “mom” job might require week to week.
Using all of that info, I’ve reduced business offerings, adjusted openings on my business calendar, and built business pricing to support the entire operation.
It’s not impossible – but it takes hard conversations with yourself, hard decisions for your business, and a willingness to redefine success for yourself.
This is what I'm talking about regularly with female founders and leaders. This week alone, I've had three Strategy Sessions booked - and each is focusing on how to align business with personal and family realities. I've love to support you in this also!
Cheering you on
- EB
5.26.26
I Broke My Boundaries - On Purpose
The Post-It note above sits on my desk and reminds me of where I have decided to put my time. These are my boundaries, and having them set makes saying yes or no easier.
But something about an email that landed in my inbox earlier this month spoke to me, and I agreed to speak to a high school class. 40+ freshman. What in the world was I thinking??
What I was thinking was that I’m the Boss, and boundaries are mine to set and change, and that I was excited about getting to talk about one of my favorite things #entrepreneurship and also a little scared to talk to high schoolers - so why the heck not??
I didn’t prep much for it, and pulling into the school parking lot, I was nervous. After I checked in at the front office amidst the kiddos leaving early for prom, I set up in the library and two freshman seminar classes filed in.
Good news - it went great. I got to tell my story, and the story/ies of my businesses. I fielded questions, engaged with students, and hopefully dropped some sort of nugget that a kid or teacher took home.
Some of the questions and discussions we got to*:
Why close a business instead of sell it? This led to a great talk about the differences in service-based and goods-based business, as well as the idea of a purpose-driven business.
How much do entrepreneurs make? How much do you pay employees? Obviously, I told them the truth - that there is no universal number. But we also got to dive deep into WHY you pay your employees. I also got to tell the story of setting a business boundary when I started that employees would be paid a minimum of $25/hour. It was important to me as a business owner to provide a living wage, and having that boundary pre-set made it easier to put into the budget when it was time to hire.
How could they become entrepreneurs? They had ideas from banner-making to mowing lawns and babysitting, and making friendship bracelets!
I did tell the kids I wasn’t supposed to be there - because my boundaries told me not to. They asked why I decided to come - and I told them I was the Boss in my business, and that meant I could change my mind, adjust boundaries, or pivot when necessary, or even just because I wanted to. And that I wanted to be there to help bring the idea of entrepreneurship to them as an option, because I wish someone had told me about it as a teen!
I’m glad I went, because it felt good to serve that organization and those kids. And selfishly, it was great to remind myself that I know the things - that I’ve lived the experience - and that I can get in front of a group, keep their attention, teach them something, and make impact, as long as I trust what I’m bringing to the table.
So….do you know what your boundaries are? How about your aspirations? Or even….your definition of success?
Cheering you on -
Erika
5.15.26
10 Years Later
When my kids were little, getting them out of the house on Easter morning was a herculean task.
Get everyone awake. →There was always one that wasn't into that plan.
Feed everyone. → Someone would always refuse to eat, and then need a last minute bowl of cereal.
Get everyone dressed in cute and kind-of matching outfits and take pictures. → Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Make it to service on time. → At the risk of sounding repetitive, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Find seats for 5, attempt to pay attention while three kids simultaneously climb on us, ask for snacks, need the bathroom, make new friends five pews away, sing during quiet times…you get the drift.
Now, we're a house full of teens. Today everyone got up, fed themselves, got dressed on their own, and posed for photos.
We not only made it on time, but we were early, got good seats, and I never once had to escort a bathroom-goer. We made it EARLY to our brunch reservations.
And now I'm sitting at home, surrounded by basket and candy debris in comfy clothes, listening to Jimmy Buffet while the kiddos entertain themselves throughout the house.
Easy peasy, relatively speaking.
That cute banner pic was taken in March 2016. Less than a month later, I left full-time employment and started my entrepreneurial journey.
The days were full of one deep breath after another - and everything seemed impossible, or just downright dumb to even try.
Find clients. → Hey - anyone like me enough to let me plan your meetings and events??
Make money. → Create proposals AND put a dollar figure on my work/worth AND ask people to pay me??
Run a business. → The minute I figured out how to create a domain-based email, the printer would stop working. For every problem I solved, four more popped up. Not to mention I started without a business plan…
It was a never-ending daily sprint to try to create something out of nothing - and I'm honestly not sure which was harder - the three kids or growing a business!
Both were full of what felt like losing battles - with minor wins. But days became months, became years. And with the passing time each of the “hard” things became “normal”, and with that, easier.
Today, I logged into Flodesk with zero issues, wrote what was on my heart, scheduled the automations (I didn't even KNOW what meant in 2016), created social posts from this content, and went about my day.
Easy peasy, relatively speaking.
Cheering you on - Erika
4.15.26
Telling on Myself
I have a journalism degree, with a concentration in advertising. I spent several years doing marketing agency work, and across the board, each of my jobs has included some comms responsibilities. I often help women write marketing pitches, ideate business names and brands, and do some (nothing too fancy!) design work. All that to say - I know marketing and I know branding.
But I haven’t been able to figure mine out.
When we split coaching off from the Aught brand, it made sense at the time to focus the naming, marketing, and brand efforts into letting the market know it was me doing the work directly. But EVERY DANG TIME I had to say my business name (which was, you know, the same as my name name), I would make an apology or a joke or anything to take the focus away from my business name.
Obviously, this is NOT how marketing should work.
I started some website updates with J-Bird Design towards the end of last year (shout out to Jess Curtis - she’s awesome and you should hire her) - and the tension of my business name kept holding us back.
“You won’t even say the business name!” she said to me, way more than once.
As I continued to spin in circles over which tense to write the website in, Jess’s work around was referencing the business as EB throughout the website (bless her for making a choice and going with it, while I just kept ignoring the issue.)
Then last week, I attended the Maker City Summit. I was listed in the program as a guest expert, and when I saw this….
Article content
Some lightbulbs went off. (Actually, first I laughed, and then some lightbulbs went off).
Lightbulb #1 - I could NOT continue to use my name name as my business name, because it looks ridiculous in print.
Lightbulb #2 - The word Strategy was exactly it. How had I missed it that it works as a verb AND a noun??
Lightbulb #3 - If I replaced my name with the ever-present EB….then I could call the business….EB Strategy. Insert giant “DUH” here.*
And that is the story of how I finally, after two years, have a business name I’ll say out loud. Time to redo the business cards…
If something’s got you spinning - let’s figure out how to turn those lightbulbs on!
Cheering you on -
Erika
*When I asked two of the event’s planners (hi Anne and Courtney), why they’d used that (made up) business name in the program, they told told me they had gone in CIRCLES trying to figure out how to list me without having my name twice. After discussing multiple options, referencing my website and more - this is what they decided on. And I’m so grateful that their own spinning + (unexpected!) input + (really necessary!) feedback led me to the eventual right conclusion.
4.1.26
Spoiler Alert
Downsizing our house was simple math to me: living space reduced by half = reduce “stuff” by half.
Cut to my moving crew having to get an ENTIRE EXTRA 22' TRUCK, and me unloading furniture on Facebook marketplace like it was my jobby job.
Sound familiar?
→ You think you're launching an online course - but in reality, you suddenly need to understand HTML code and SEO and an e-commerce platform.
→ The plan is to become a mainstage speaker - but reality is, you have to become a full-time booking agent + salesperson for yourself.
→ Opening a brick and mortar seems straightforward enough - but reality requires you to be the equivalent of a General Contractor.
Spoiler - it doesn't always work out easily, but it mostly works out. The difference is how you handle that dang extra truck.
Honestly, this was the equation I was working with at the end of 2025: Close a business + tell everyone I'm focusing on the other one = freedom + extra time + fully booked calendar.
Spoiler: not exactly.
→ I've gotten more leads for Aught this January than any other year past. #extratruck
→ The admin work of closing + moving a business AND home is taking up ALL of my time. #extratruck
→ I haven't had bandwidth to sell the spots on my calendar. #thisislikeanextraextratruck
I also forgot to remind myself that there would be grief in this season, or plan for extra rest after that whirlwind. #oops
BUT.
It is mostly working out. At the end of a Strategy Session this week, my client said it was “exactly what she needed.” I've been able to support Anna Wiggins behind the scenes as she's opened her brick and mortar. Being stuck at home on snow days has meant sleeping in, not rescheduling. And I have clarity on my offers and am READY to start selling them.
If you're looking for a non-mathmetician to help you set up your next best equation AND plan for all the outcome options - let's chat about the support you need. You can schedule a quick call here.
3.15.26
Rule or Boundary?
When I was in first grade, I peed my pants at school.
We were taking a standardized test, and the teacher had given VERY clear instructions that we were not to ask any questions until the timer went off. I can still remember trying to hold it in, and then the puddle that gathered underneath my desk. When I was in first grade, I peed my pants at school.
A few years later, sitting in a middle school classroom, I had a DISTINCT realization. Nothing was keeping me there. Sure, there were rules that didn’t allow you to wander freely through the school – but there was NOTHING physically stopping me. What was keeping me, and all of the other students, in our seats, were the rules, spoken and unspoken, that we knew to be a part of our everyday existence.
And here I sit, a few decades wiser, and I know something to be true – there are differences between rules and perceived boundaries.
Rules have reasons, as I often tell my kids. And just because you don’t like them doesn’t mean you don’t have to follow them. They’re designed to keep us safe, to account for others that exist around us, and to maintain societal expectations. There are processes to challenge and possibly change them. But they are what they are.
Those perceived boundaries though – they’re trickier. I’ll never forget an episode of Oprah where an expert said “we’re the only animal that ignores their instincts so that we don’t offend someone else.” And while that episode was about safety while traveling, that sentence can sum up so many of the decisions we make as partners, moms, friends, and yes, entrepreneurs. What is it that we’re staying “safe” from that allows us to choose these imaginary guidelines over a decision or action that may make us happier, benefit our business or support our family?
In my 20+ years of being employed by someone else, I rarely had permission to make bold calls on my own. Much like life as a student or child, there were always rules I had to follow. But suddenly, as an entrepreneur, the rules no longer exist. And the secret is, it’s infinitely more comfortable to stay within boundaries you’ve always known, instead of recognizing or redefining them for the betterment of yourself or your business.
A few weeks ago, a friend apologetically announced that she was eating cereal for dinner. “Tracy, you’re a grown woman!” I told her. “If you want to eat dinner at 7 in the morning then you do that. The world is your oyster and so is the schedule. Eat ice cream for dinner. Have steak for breakfast. There are no rules. We’re only living with the boundaries we believe to be true.”
These perceived boundaries, which you may unknowingly allow to dictate direction in your business, need only one thing to disappear. Permission from YOU. They’re NOT rules – you’re just allowing them to be. Easier said than done, right? So here are a few tips to support the tough love I’m dishing out.
The one sentence that has helped me and entrepreneurs around me the most with this idea is “I’m the Boss.” One of our mastermind members was stressing about delaying her launch date for a new product. “Who’s the boss?” I asked her. “I’m the boss!” she said. The only person who really stood to be disappointed with the launch delay was her, but her perceived boundary of sticking to a date regardless of feasibility had been a) providing an excuse and b) keeping her from doing the type of launch she really wanted to. So remember, in your business – YOU are the boss.
If you really need something tangible, make yourself a few permission slips. You can find a free download here. These obviously aren’t a necessity – but they do make it more fun!
At the end of the day, there are two important takeaways I hope you remember:
- The only person who can give YOU permission -
as a business owner, idea generator, magic maker,or more is YOU.
- You owe it to YOURSELF to write all the Permission Slips you need.
3.1.26
Take It or Leave It - Momentum
I am 100% whatever the opposite of an adrenaline junkie is. Activities or experiences that intentionally include heights, speed or thrills - no thank you.
But momentum? I'll take that all day long.
Momentum is defined as strength or force gained by motion or by a series of events. Since I’ve already made clear I don’t want my body in these types of situations, let’s talk about momentum specifically in business. Some understandings I’ve come to about momentum:
Business owners can directly allow or block momentum – and you have to decide which you’re up for (sometimes daily!)
When you purposefully make space for it, momentum has the ability to start, grow and create.
Honestly, I spent most of the first few years of Aught wondering two things
1 - What if it doesn’t work?
2 - What if it does?
I stood in the way of growth for a variety of reasons – time and bandwidth, yes, but also due to fear of letting it happen.
What if the community grew?
What if business coaching made an impact?
What if in person events sold out?
What if, what if, what if – we were successful?
In the last few years, I’ve stepped out of the way. Aught’s offerings and team have grown. I've moved coaching under a different brand. Systems have been implemented and refined. All of this has made space – which has created momentum.
Having experienced both sides of the coin – blocking momentum and allowing it – I’m here to say, as a business owner, the thrill is in giving it space to grow - and I’m enjoying the ride!
What say you re: momentum?
2.14.26
Ruminations on Coaching
As someone who is considered a “coach” - this Threads post is 100% it.
I have specifically stayed away from the word because it’s been co-opted/redefined in a way that makes it hard to know who to trust.
Looking for a coach/guide/mentor/whatever? Here are a few tips as you start the process:
#1 - Do a vibe check. Talk to them live. See if you like them. They can be the smartest and most successful human in the world, but if you don't like them, you won't get much out of the relationship.
#2 - Do a social check. Are you aligned? Because if you’re not, it will cause problems sooner or later. You are spending too much time and money with them to have to ignore things you wouldn't accept in a real world relationship.
#3 - Talk to others who worked with them - past tense is important. Do they recommend them after the fact? What was best about their experience? What would they have changed? What kind/amount of ROI did they experience?
#4 - Understand what you’re getting. Is it 1:1 direct time? Or is their team working with you? How much of the content is personalized to you and your business's needs vs global presentations?
#5 - Understand their focus. Is it helping you increase revenue/scale? Is it adjusting your business model towards a different goal? Is their focus what you need and want, or what others/they are telling you you need and want?
#6 - Last - what experience do they bring to the table. Not just as a coach - but in actually doing the thing you're hiring them to help you with. Do they believe in their way, or are they adaptable to the reality your strategy is dealing with?
Worked with a coach before? A coach yourself? What did I miss?
2.3.26
When Reality Impacts the Strategy
Let's talk Strategy vs. Reality
It's the end of January. Strategy says I should be publishing my nurture series for my upcoming Intensive.
But reality? Reality is hard right now. The world and people I love are hurting. It's a scary time to read or watch the news, or log in to social media apps. And while it would be lovely to bury my head in the sand, reality is - my clients are working to not only human through (waves hands around) all this, but to also entrepreneur through it.
So, what do we do?
I say we do the best we can. We serve our clients. We bring our talents to the table to make the kind of differences we set out in the world to make. We speak truth. We look out for each other.
But still, the other question - “Is is 'ok' to sell right now?”
Listen, you're the boss, so that's a decision you have to make. But here are a few questions to think through:
Do I have capacity for sales conversations?
Can I provide a level of service that I would be proud of, and my clients would benefit from?
Is what I offer needed in the world right now?
It's not about the answers to these questions. It's about taking the time, space and energy to have the discussion with yourself.
Not feeling like you can "people right now? → Spend some quiet time on admin tasks.
Don't want to fill a funnel or actively sell? → Reach out to your existing clients just to connect.
Your offers aren't what the world needs this week/month? → Find opportunities to provide your talents (related to your biz or not!) pro bono.
There is one thing that I know is true across the board
The worlds needs you and however you are willing to show up in it.
Cheering you on - Erika
PS. My friends Sally and Erin, both of whom reside in Minneapolis, are sharing so much wisdom. Click their names to read their latest posts.
1.29.26
I Closed 28 Tabs
The night we publicly announced Aught's closing, one important administrative task HAD to be handled. The website needed to be updated to remove everything except offers we were keeping available through the end of the year.
As I logged into Show It, I was overwhelmed by how many pages I had to turn “off.” I lost count at 28.
And while I'm sure this sounds sad, let me tell you - it was anything BUT. Each page I unpublished was the equivalent of closing a tab in my brain. Suddenly, I had 28 tabs LESS of things to stress about, focus on, sell, or keep an eye on.
When we start building a business, we very rarely put any limits on ourselves - for good reason. But I'm hopeful that while you let your brain rest over the holiday season, some “tabs” that are ready to be closed make themselves known to you. Whether that means striking an offer, pivoting a message, or restructuring your team - know it's ok to make changes. You're the boss after all {wink}.
12.14.25
Team Alignment Case Study
It’s one of the most common growing pains in business: you build something incredible, it takes off, and suddenly the systems that once worked… don’t.
That was the case for a thriving service-based business that reached out for support earlier this year. The team was talented, loyal, and deeply invested in their work — but as they grew, things started to feel heavy. Everyone was doing a little bit of everything. Boundaries blurred. Stress crept in. And what used to feel like “teamwork” started to feel like chaos.
The owner, who had always prided herself on being flexible and people-first, could sense the strain but wasn’t sure how to fix it. She wanted to support her team — but she also needed her business to function better. That’s where I came in.
Creating Space for Honest Conversation
Before our session, I asked the owner what she wanted most out of our time together. Her answer was simple: clarity. Clarity around roles, schedules, and expectations — for herself and for her team.
So we gathered everyone together for a Strategic Team Alignment Session — a half-day experience designed to help them reconnect, recalibrate, and reimagine how they work together.
We started by getting everything on the table. Through guided conversation and a few creative exercises (I’m a big believer that post-its and laughter open doors faster than spreadsheets ever could), the team began to share what was working… and what wasn’t.
Very quickly, a theme emerged: everyone was doing a bit of everything, and it wasn’t working for anyone.
From “All Hands Everywhere” to “Everyone in Their Lane”
The truth was, the flexibility that once felt empowering had become overwhelming. People were spending time on tasks that didn’t fit their strengths, and the lack of defined roles meant no one ever felt truly “done.” Together, we reimagined what it would look like for each person to have ownership of one primary area of work — with a clear backup plan for coverage when needed.
By the end of the session, they had clear role categories, written job descriptions (for the first time ever!), and a structure that gave everyone both focus and flexibility.
We also took a hard look at the schedule. The team — mostly working moms — had been doing their best to fit their lives around the business hours. Instead, we flipped the question: what would it look like if the business fit around their lives? With input from everyone, they crafted a schedule that worked for both people and productivity — complete with “focus windows” for uninterrupted work and small but meaningful shifts (like bringing back paid lunches) that improved both morale and efficiency.
Leading with Clarity (Not Assumptions)
After the team session, I met with the owner and her manager to talk about next steps. The manager had been in her role for over a year, but had never been given full clarity or training on her responsibilities — mostly because the owner had always been both owner and operator. Sound familiar?
We spent that time defining what leadership looks like in this next season: what the manager owns, what the owner lets go of, and how they communicate as a unified team. We also did some mindset work — shifting the manager from doing the work to leading the work, and helping the owner step fully into her role as CEO. That’s where real growth happens: when everyone is operating from their lane, with confidence and trust.
The Outcome
The changes they made weren’t flashy — but they were transformative.
The team left feeling seen, valued, and clear. The owner left with systems that actually support her leadership instead of draining it. And the business now has a foundation that allows it to grow intentionally, not reactively.
In the owner’s words:
“The chance to hear open, honest feedback from my team in a safe space was invaluable. Having an unbiased facilitator made the experience professional but still warm and supportive.”
That’s the magic of clarity. It doesn’t just make things easier — it makes them better.
Why This Matters
When businesses grow faster than their systems, it’s easy to think the answer is more — more effort, more hours, more hustle. But often, what’s needed is less. Less noise, less guessing, less overlap.
What this team learned — and what I see again and again — is that alignment creates freedom. When people know what they’re responsible for (and what they’re not), they can show up with confidence. When leadership gets clear on structure and communication, everyone moves forward faster.
Because at the end of the day, structure isn’t the opposite of creativity or care — it’s what makes both possible.
Interested in doing the same for your team? Let's chat!
11.3.25
“I would say without hesitation - do it! Even 2 hours with Erika were well worth it. She asked for my objectives before
the session and addressed each one.
No matter what stage you are in, a
Strategy Session with Erika can help.” -
Eleanor N.
But what exactly happens in a Strategy Sessions?
Let me give you the breakdown of how it works:
1. You schedule the Session. The scheduler allows you to grab a time slot that works for you and is already available on my calendar. No back and forth scheduling!!
2. You outline the outcomes you're hoping for from the session. Some examples from recent sessions:
3. It's Session Day!! While each session is personalized, they generally follow this format:
Things that happen in about every session:
4. After the Session, I'll send you a recap with pictures of the white board at all stages, any links or contacts I mentioned, and your “next steps” list (with some extra encouragement included!)
It is my TRUE GOAL for each Deep Dive session to have the founder (that's you) leave with clarity and excitement about her next steps and her business.
If you're ready to get a session scheduled - so am I! You can learn more here.
“Erika's insights into the best way for me to work were priceless, even at our first meeting. She led me through a concrete process of valuing my work, which has been one of the
more difficult aspects for me.
She also challenged my small thinking in a delightful way that
I could accept and feel excited
about. As an entrepreneur at a
time when the economy is not
great and I'm approaching
retirement, I don't always get
this kind of support.
Erika truly provides valuable
insights and concrete steps to
success.”
- Eleanor N.
Cheering you on!
- Erika
the session and addressed each one.
No matter what stage you are in, a
Strategy Session with Erika can help.” -
Eleanor N.
But what exactly happens in a Strategy Sessions?
Let me give you the breakdown of how it works:
1. You schedule the Session. The scheduler allows you to grab a time slot that works for you and is already available on my calendar. No back and forth scheduling!!
2. You outline the outcomes you're hoping for from the session. Some examples from recent sessions:
- Design a typical week, including time for marketing and bookkeeping
- Formulate my business plan for a big shift in direction
- Have a better handle on my offerings and a marketing plan in place
- I need help determining what I really want to do and how to intentionally get there.
3. It's Session Day!! While each session is personalized, they generally follow this format:
- Review desired outcomes (they often change between booking and day of!)
- I'll walk you through a FULL ON BRAIN DUMP for your business (and the parts of your real life that are affected). The white board really earns her keep during this part!
- We review your current offerings/pricing/messaging
- We get to work on your outcomes - actually DOING things together, not just talking about them.
- We create a “next steps” list for you to follow after the session
Things that happen in about every session:
- I ask hard questions that are keeping you stuck in your business.
- I challenge your mindset AND provide tools/methods to adjust it.
- We take a break to stretch or dance.
- We high-five at least once.
4. After the Session, I'll send you a recap with pictures of the white board at all stages, any links or contacts I mentioned, and your “next steps” list (with some extra encouragement included!)
It is my TRUE GOAL for each Deep Dive session to have the founder (that's you) leave with clarity and excitement about her next steps and her business.
If you're ready to get a session scheduled - so am I! You can learn more here.
“Erika's insights into the best way for me to work were priceless, even at our first meeting. She led me through a concrete process of valuing my work, which has been one of the
more difficult aspects for me.
She also challenged my small thinking in a delightful way that
I could accept and feel excited
about. As an entrepreneur at a
time when the economy is not
great and I'm approaching
retirement, I don't always get
this kind of support.
Erika truly provides valuable
insights and concrete steps to
success.”
- Eleanor N.
Cheering you on!
- Erika
My most popular offering this year has been my 1:1 Deep Dive Sessions. These are 2- or 4-hour strategy sessions, live or virtual - just you, me and my trusty white board.
“I would say without hesitation - do it! Even 2 hours with Erika
were well worth it. She asked for my objectives before the session
and addressed each one. No matter what stage you are in, a Deep
Dive Day with Erika can help.” - Eleanor N.
But what exactly happens in a Deep Dive?
Let me give you the breakdown of how it works:
1. You schedule the Deep Dive. The scheduler allows you to grab a time slot that works for you and is already available on my calendar. No back and forth scheduling!!
2. You outline the outcomes you're hoping for from the session. Some examples from recent sessions:
- Design a typical week, including time for marketing and bookkeeping
- Formulate my business plan for a big shift in direction
- Have a better handle on my offerings and a marketing plan in place
- I need help determining what I really want to do and how to intentionally get there.
3. It's Deep Dive Day!! While each session is personalized, they generally follow this format:
- Review desired outcomes (they often change between booking and day of!)
- I'll walk you through a FULL ON BRAIN DUMP for your business (and the parts of your real life that are affected). The white board really earns her keep during this part!
- We review your current offerings/pricing/messaging
- We get to work on your outcomes - actually DOING things together, not just talking about them.
- We create a “next steps” list for you to follow after the session
Things that happen in about every session:
- I ask hard questions that are keeping you stuck in your business.
- I challenge your mindset AND provide tools/methods to adjust it.
- We take a break to stretch or dance.
- We high-five at least once.
4. After the Deep Dive, I'll send you a recap with pictures of the white board at all stages, any links or contacts I mentioned, and your “next steps” list (with some extra encouragement included!)
It is my TRUE GOAL for each Deep Dive session to have the founder (that's you) leave with clarity and excitement about her next steps and her business.
If you're ready to get a session scheduled - so am I! You can learn more here.
“Erika's insights into the best way for me to work were priceless,
even at our first meeting. She led me through a concrete process
of valuing my work, which has been one of the more difficult
aspects for me. She also challenged my small thinking in a
delightful way that I could accept and feel excited about. As an
entrepreneur at a time when the economy is not great and I'm
approaching retirement, I don't always get this kind of support.
Erika truly provides valuable insights and concrete steps to success.”
- Eleanor N.
Cheering you on!
- Erika
My most popular offering this year has been my 1:1 Deep Dive Sessions. These are 2- or 4-hour strategy sessions, live or virtual - just you, me and my trusty white board.
10.14.25
Anatomy of a Strategy Session
True Story - I had zero plans for post-college. I’m talking - with less than a month to go before I donned the cap and gown, I had NO PLAN.
If you know me (or have read a single thing I’ve written), this probably comes as a shock to you. Honestly, I’ve been reflecting on this for decades and I still don’t quite understand the idea that I was just going to graduate and not know what would happen next.*
I do know that I had a half-baked plan to move to New York and try to “make it” on Broadway. Bless sweet baby Erika, because I had no singing or dancing talent, abilities or even training. Blame it on all of the books I read and the movies I watched, but I had a true fantasy of crashing on someone’s couch (reader, I didn’t know anyone who lived in NYC) and getting the part of Kristine in A Chorus Line, because that particular character can’t sing.
Needless to say, that daydream never came to fruition. But I have a deep and abiding love for all things NYC, Broadway and musicals, and I’ve passed it onto my daughter. (I’m a wannabe theatre kid - she is one.)
Through a LOT of show business magic, I recently scored tickets for us to see Leslie Odom, Jr reprise his role of Aaron Burr in Hamilton ON my daughter’s 16th birthday. Extra pixie dust also got us backstage after the show; she and I levitated on the Hamilton stage for almost half an hour while chatting and taking photos with the majority of the cast members. (Oh, and Faith Hill and Tim McGraw who also happened to be there that night - Faith and my kiddo share a birthday!**)
I’m not saying all this to brag - I’m saying all of this to say -
Every time I watch a Broadway show, I am so damn proud of every member of the cast and crew, onstage and behind the scenes. I think about what it took for them to get to where they are IN THAT MOMENT. Likely a lot of blood, sweat and tears, but also a dedication to a craft, their art and a determination to be the best they can be. I’m like a proud Mom for each and every person as they live out what was likely a dream since childhood.
I’ve spoken about this with a handful of performers I’ve had the chance to meet, and always ask the question - “How often does it hit you that you’re ON BROADWAY?”
And every single one of them has given the same answer - “Every time.”
Listen - being on Broadway may look glamorous, but it’s definitely got drawbacks. Just like entrepreneurship has spreadsheets and sleepless nights and loneliness and daily “what if’s” - the artists that make these shows possible do so through bruised feet, exhausted bodies, lack of time with their friends and family, and a grueling schedule.
Know what else they have in common? Hard work. Dedication to the idea of making the world a better place through purpose and passion. A belief in what they bring to their communities and beyond.
So here’s my question to you - “How often does it hit you that you get to own your own business, be your own boss, and create impact on the world?” If the answer isn’t “Every day” - let’s see what we can do about that.
Cheering you (and all your big dreams!) on - Erika
*what happened next was that a super-selective job I initially didn't get had a last-minute alternate opening and I'm so grateful to the Universe that I was paid to travel and help women across the country - a job that has paid me back every day since.
**Did my daughter say to Tim McGraw - "You're the one Taylor Swift wrote a song about??" Yes, yes she did.
Every time I watch a Broadway show, I am so damn proud of every member of the cast and crew, onstage and behind the scenes. I think about what it took for them to get to where they are IN THAT MOMENT. Likely a lot of blood, sweat and tears, but also a dedication to a craft, their art and a determination to be the best they can be. I’m like a proud Mom for each and every person as they live out what was likely a dream since childhood.
I’ve spoken about this with a handful of performers I’ve had the chance to meet, and always ask the question - “How often does it hit you that you’re ON BROADWAY?”
And every single one of them has given the same answer - “Every time.”
Listen - being on Broadway may look glamorous, but it’s definitely got drawbacks. Just like entrepreneurship has spreadsheets and sleepless nights and loneliness and daily “what if’s” - the artists that make these shows possible do so through bruised feet, exhausted bodies, lack of time with their friends and family, and a grueling schedule.
Know what else they have in common? Hard work. Dedication to the idea of making the world a better place through purpose and passion. A belief in what they bring to their communities and beyond.
So here’s my question to you - “How often does it hit you that you get to own your own business, be your own boss, and create impact on the world?” If the answer isn’t “Every day” - let’s see what we can do about that.
Cheering you (and all your big dreams!) on - Erika
*what happened next was that a super-selective job I initially didn't get had a last-minute alternate opening and I'm so grateful to the Universe that I was paid to travel and help women across the country - a job that has paid me back every day since.
**Did my daughter say to Tim McGraw - "You're the one Taylor Swift wrote a song about??" Yes, yes she did.
10.5.25
That's Show Business, Baby
I did NOT have "get Covid in August" on my summer bingo card, but sure enough, two weeks ago, that little pink line told me I did, indeed, have more than a sniffle. My daughter was diagnosed with flu the same day, and as the days went on, other members of my family also fell victim.
What started as a yucky cough overnight turned into a full-blown "can't leave my bed, might as well rewatch Girls 5 Eva (#rip)" for 7 straight days.
The silver lining? My brain was rested, I was offline, and the THOUGHTS STARTED THINKING!
Staying off of email, out of meetings and alone in quarantine, my idea factory was in overdrive. Thank goodness for Post-It Notes (iykyk) - by the time I was feeling well enough to get out of bed, I had a STACK ready to go.
What's the result? My very FIRST paid online offering. One hour a day for five days to learn my GSD* ways. So much of this information exists across my content, but this packages it in a way that busy founders can access it - plus checklists so they can give themselves gold stars!!
I need to do the recordings, but I expect to have this available for purchase starting next week. If you're interested, let me know, and I'll send you the link personally once it's live.
Cheering you on - Erika
8.25.25
Dr.'s Note
My entire parenting journey has occurred away from family. While our kids are lucky to have a bevy of loving grandparents, aunts and uncles, we've never had the opportunity to have them as part of our day to day lives. If you asked me at any point in the last 17 (!!) years what that's like, I told you that my husband and I just make "it" work. And by "it", I mean chauffeuring as a full-time unpaid job, acting as the cheering section at games, recording plays and being the youngest special guest on (most) grandparent days.
All this to say - I've thought A LOT about what parenting away from your extended family looks like and requires. But for some reason, listing to the IMO podcast, when Michelle Obama said to Tina Knowles - "this generation thinks they need to do it all alone," IT HIT ME HARD.
Because if I get reallllllly honest about it - have we had to do it alone, or did we just think we needed to?*
And how many of us as entrepreneurs are doing the same?
I truly believe that entrepreneurship is an inherently lonely gig. Few start the journey with a team around them - and more often than not, the newfound CEO is sitting atop solo. Decisions, next steps - the bucks stops with them.
Know what makes it easier, 100% of the time?
Community.
But - it takes a true concerted effort to place yourself in community where entrepreneurship is the common thread. It is arguably easier to stay insulated than it is to put yourself "out there" with strangers.
But.
- What if you did?
- What if you truly tried the concept of collaboration over competition?
- What if you had others who understood the hurdles of business ownership and could validate and support you?
- What if you had a circle who celebrated the successes that your family and friends couldn't begin to comprehend?
- What if you didn't think you needed to do it all alone? (link to TAC page)
Cheering you on -
Erika
*I'm going to noodle on the parenting question for a while
8.5.25
Michelle Obama's Mic Drop
The first time I heard the phrase “tech stack” I was at a conference and I hit up the Google up pretty fast afterwards to figure out what it was*.
Here’s my definition:
Tech Stack (noun) – the software and platforms used to run your business and its automations, billing, contracting, marketing, communication, scheduling, content creation, customer relationship management (CRM), file storage, analytics, and whatever the heck else you do day in and day out.
TLDR - all those subscriptions you pay for.
When you start a business, it’s SUPER tempting to sign up for all the things. Each software brings promises of efficiency, ease and engagement. The reality - it’s REAL easy to sign up for WAY MORE than you actually need. And all of those $20/month subscriptions add up super fast.
We run a pretty lean operation at EB and Aught. We audit our tech stack pretty often, and have figured out work arounds within our favorite systems that help us to get the most out of them. And at the end of the day, these are the ones we use the most:
Flodesk - this is our email marketing platform. It also serves as our checkout for paid events as necessary (we turn that upgrade off and on as needed). It integrates with our website platform, our quiz software AND our customer management tool. Plus, when I say they’re hands on and IN IT TO WIN IT for small biz owners, I mean it. The CEO sat on an hour-long call with my team when they gave us the opportunity to check out some new updates they’re making. This is my TOP recommendation for entrepreneurs, and you can get it for less than anywhere from $0 - $38/month. (this affiliate link will get you 50%off your first year.)
Honeybook - if you need a customer management system to track status, sign contracts or invoice, this is another small business best friend type situation. While it’s not as inexpensive as other items in our tech stack, it costs less than most CRMs out there AND they have a team that is super dedicated to their subscribers. This + Flodesk are a one-two punch for full client and email management. (this affiliate link saves you 30% off your first year)
*I get asked a lot if you can use just one of these. The answer is “kinda.” FD specializes in email, but you could do some pretty significant work around to use it for client management - it just gets clunky the more work arounds you do. And HB specializes in client management - and while it can send emails, it’s not set up to do large blasts. I find that the majority of women I work with can pinpoint if an email platform OR a client management platform is their next best step.
My other favorites right now are:
Descript - an online transcription service that I use to pull text directly from my podcast interviews + Zoom recordings. (free trial here)
ChatGPT - I know there are a lot of feelings on this one - but I can do a coaching call via Zoom, create a transcript with Descript, and chat will create the to do list for both myself and my client - and that is efficiency in motion. I’m content to use this tool for as long as I feel like it’s supporting my business and clients.
And the remainder of my Tech Stack is made up of these work horses:
Google Workspace (email + storage)
Gusto (payroll - cash bonus with this link)
Slack - team + community messaging
Zoom - video calls
Vimeo - video editing
Canva - anything marketing
Skip Funding - grant funding tracker (start here)
ShowIt - website builder (get your first month free)
If there are other platforms or services you’re looking for - let me know. I’ve probably paid for it at some point, or have worked with a client who has. Happy to answer any specific questions via email!
Cheering you on -
Erika
7.16.25
What the Heck is a Tech Stack?
𝘉-𝘈-𝘕-𝘈-𝘕-𝘈-𝘚 (𝘣𝘰𝘯𝘶𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨).
That is how my summer is going. Very little has gone according to plan:
✨ I had 3 weeks of just me or just me + 1 family member at home in a row.
Yes, that was a lot of extra time to work - but I didn’t account for the extra tasks of running the house + taking care of our dogs on my own. 𝑩𝒊𝒈 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒔, 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒔.
✨ My son and husband went to Asia for 2 weeks, and I managed every.single.one of their many, many, many, many travel mishaps from 13 hours away. 𝑮𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝑰 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅, 𝒕𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝑰 𝒅𝒊𝒅.
✨ My daughter was on staff at a summer camp for June; she went ahead and signed up for July without telling us first. Which is great for her, but a massive adjustment to an already precarious calendar. 𝑮𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝒐𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔, 𝒍𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒂𝒑𝒂𝒄𝒊𝒕𝒚.
✨ My husband got a new job (good job honey!) on kind of short notice - it’s wonderful for him and for our family. That said, I’m now picking up the bulk of chauffeuring duty and it’s added a trip to our July calendar. 𝑰𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒕𝒔 𝒃𝒐𝒕𝒉 𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔.
𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡/𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫.
I’m showing up for my family where it matters - 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵’𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘪’𝘴.
My businesses are still running, thanks to my team - 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘱𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘐’𝘮 𝘶𝘯𝘢𝘷𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦.
I’m catching all of the unexpected balls that are getting tossed at me - 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐’𝘮 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭.
𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐚𝐦 𝐈 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮??
Because entrepreneurship is wonderful in that it allows you flexibility - but it’s also hard in that you have to be comfortable with an ever changing situation. It’s why one size doesn’t fit all when it comes to structure, processes, offers or how success is measured.
What I’ve realized this summer is that I am really good at two extremes - working extremely hard, or not working at all. The in-between - it’s a bit of a mess (see above.)
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐰𝐬:
I’ve made enough space in my life and business that I’m aware of this
I’ve built the opportunity and resources to keep growing and changing for my version of better.
I’m hitting post on this update and heading to one of my favorite weeks of the year - my whole family (siblings, nieces and nephews) in one place + cold beverages + kiddie pools + a homemade slip and slide + nothing to do but hang.
𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤. 😉
Here’s to sunshine and summer - EB
7.15.25
How's My Summer Going?
It’s my birthday!
And you know what I want most??
For everyone to be a little kinder to each other AND themselves.
That you’ll take “you’re the boss” to heart in all the best ways.
For everyone to be supported in community.
That those who feel unseen and unknown become seen and known.
For your dreams to become reality. For your purpose to be discovered and run towards. For others to benefit from all the things you bring to the world.
So, yeah, Happy Birthday to me, but I hope you feel celebrated today and every day.
🌟 If you’ve got $5-$5million to spare - I’d love for you to help all of the above goals through a donation to The Women of Knoxville, LLC to help the great work they do.
Cheering you on -
Erika
5.30.25
A Birthday Wish
I wrote this for my daughter, who is embarking on her freshman year of high school - and wanted to share it with you. Yes, it’s aimed at young teens, but the more I look at it, the more I realize it can apply to any of us.
A note to the girls entering high school...
- Think of it as an adventure – a four year trip into an unknown world. There are plenty of new ideas to discover, places to see and people to meet. And everyone of those will enrich your future life in some way.
- Focus on friendships, not drama. The friends you enter highschool with will always be a part of your memories, even if they are not a part of your every day. There are new friends to be made, if you’re willing to do so. With so many opportunities for activities, sports, interests and more – it is normal for friends to focus on different priorities. This also makes your friend group infinitely more entertaining if you all bring something new and different to the conversations.
- Relationships will always be available in the future. Don’t skip the high school experience in favor of a significant other. While it may happen, it’s easier (and more fun) to let relationships unfold organically while you focus on cultivating true friendships.
- The teachers are there because they want to help you grow and learn. They are not out to get you, or purposefully make your life difficult. While you may not need to know how to calculate a specific equation later in life, the skills you learned about how to study, how to consider and how to solve WILL serve you well. Teachers also do have a sense of humor, despite thoughts to the contrary.
- High school is not the end all be all. Very few kids will be identified as adults the way they were in school. Focus on seeing people for who they are and who they will become – not just as a stereotype.
- Do your homework. Turn in your homework. These two things will result in better grades on their own, which will lead to less hard conversations with the adults in your life.
- Keep a calendar. Know where you are supposed to be and when. Be there on time. See note above about this resulting in less hard conversations…
- The adults in your life have been through this before. While it was different, it was also the same. Every once in a while, grant them the opportunity to lead or guide you through something.
- You are beautiful the way you are. No one will remember tomorrow if you already wore the same thing that week, if your mascara wasn’t perfect, or if you don’t have the name brand something.
- Everyone will remember how you made them feel. You don’t have to be friends with everyone, but you should be kind to them all.
With love to all the girls out there,
Erika
8.9.24
A Note for the Girls Entering High School
Take a walk with me down memory lane, where 18-year old Erika, a college sophomore, out in the big old world by herself, is infatuated with her first (and only) college boyfriend…"Brad".
Brad was cute, smart and popular. He could dance like Justin Timberlake and was always the life of the party. Honestly, he was fun. But a quick review of our history reveals some embarrassingly obvious red flags that I didn’t see until decades later.
I love fireflies. Brad knew this, so he caught me one. Then he squished it.
Red flag.
He kept a photo of his ex-girlfriend next to the bed for three of the five years we dated.
Red flag.
His parents kept a picture of him and the ex on their living room wall until who knows when. It’s probably still there.
Red flag.
He didn’t like my family, and my family is DELIGHTFUL.
Red flag.
I had a car, Brad didn’t, and I allowed him to use my car. Good chance he loved the Honda Civic more than he loved me.
Red flag.
Speaking of love…we’d hypothetically bantered around marriage. But four years into our relationship, and he refused to tell me he loved me. And not just refused, but actually said, “I’m not going to tell you I love you.”
Red flag.
I think you get the point. But I was young, in love, and blinded by what I saw as the sure future ahead – marriage, babies, the whole shebang. So with rose-colored glasses, I finished college and spent a year long-distance in a California-based job. Eventually, I was offered the opportunity to move with my job, so OF COURSE, I chose Brad’s town of St. Louis.
We went apartment shopping together, and he was frustrated that I picked one on the opposite side of town as his place. As for me, I was thrilled to finally be in the same city as we unpacked my belongings in the 48 hours I was in the city before hitting the road for a work trip.
The day I was headed to my new home in St. Louis, I got in a pretty terrible car accident, bad enough that I was unable to move for a few hours due to the impact. But in my pain-induced haze, I convinced the hospital to release me to fly home.
I hopped on a plane (actually someone walked me onto the plane and strapped my seatbelt for me), and had a stop over in my hometown of Dallas. My mom raced to the airport to lay eyes on me, took one look, and told me I was coming home with her.
The next day I had to decide – get on a plane back to my “new” home (and Brad), or stay in my Mom’s bed with her taking care of me. I’ll just let you guess which flight I immediately got on in a haze of medication. No surprise, I went to the boy.
Red flag, on me this time.
Brad picked me up, and I just knew that was the beginning of my forever.
He drove me home because I couldn’t drive yet.
He got me in my apartment, because I couldn’t open the door.
He opened my meds for me, because I couldn’t open them.
He helped me get settled on the couch, because I couldn’t lower myself onto it.
And then he dumped me.
Told me he was sorry, walked out the door and left me in a city where I knew
no one and had just left my own mother for.
With the hindsight of time, I have been able to draw the parallels between my relationship with Brad, every job I’ve ever held, and this crazy ride called entrepreneurship.
Let’s step forward a few years, and take a look at mid-20’s Erika, as an employee.
I’m a newlywed, my husband is working on his PhD, and I’m working 60 hours a week for $27,000 a year.
It doesn’t take long for a pattern to emerge.
If I do a good job, my clients like me.
If I do a better job, my boss likes me.
If I work myself to the bone and exceed any and all reasonable expectations – my company owner likes me.
And sometimes, they even tell me I was doing a good job.
So I work as hard as I know how.
I had promotions dangled in front of me, ones that are “not ready just yet”, but of course, if I continue this quality of work then maybe, just maybe, there’s room for advancement in the FAR future, and I just keep working all hours of the day to prove my worth. (Quick callback that I was planning a hypothetical wedding to a man who wouldn’t tell me he loved me. Real tendency to make current plans on a future that doesn’t yet exist, regardless of costs now. Red flag Erika).
My family is telling me I’m working too hard. Their feelings are hurt that I’m ignoring them.
“But they need me,” I say. I’m working hard and I’m being SEEN for it, I say.
In short, I worked myself to the point of complete and utter success with a real strong dose of hatred for my industry, my job, my employers and my own inability to function without validation.
My entrepreneurship journey is a story in and of itself. But I’ll give those years with Brad credit for showing me that:
- You don’t get a return when you pour all of yourself into the wrong person, the wrong project or the wrong job.
- Working towards your own purpose is infinitely more life-giving than working for someone else’s.
- Boundaries don’t exist if you don’t set them – and those who you’re NOT setting them for are the most likely to take advantage of you.
- Just because you’re making everyone around you happy does not immediately equate to you being happy or valued.
- Disruption can be a powerful force for change.
A quick wrap up - three months after Brad bid me goodbye, I met and fell in love with a man I’ve shared 20+ years of marriage and three amazing kiddos with. They are a HUGE part of my entrepreneurship story – but I'll leave that for another day.
Cheering you on -
Erika
7.1.24
What My Bad Ex-Boyfriend Taught Me
About Entrepreneurship
